I Do
I apologize to my few readers for not having an original thought lately. and for being on a country kick. So here's to hoping the writer's block will pass. This one has become popular at weddings.
I DO
By Paul Brandt
I've seen the storm clouds in your past
But rest assured 'cause you are safe at home at last
I rescued you, you rescued me
And we're right where we should be when we're together
I know the questions in your mind
But go ahead and ask me one more time
You'll find the answer's still the same
It won't change from day to day for worse or better
Chorus
Will I promise to be your best friend
And am I here until the end
Can I be sure I have been waiting for you
And did I say my love is true
Baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do
I know the time will disappear
But this love we're building on will always be here
No way that this is sinking sand
On this solid rock we'll stand forever
Chorus
Baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do
Oh, I will, I am, I can, I have, I do
baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do
The Man In Love With You
Here is another song that you may or may not have heard. It is a George Strait song. Anyone who knows me knows that I am into lyrics. The style doesn't matter, country, jazz, reggae etc. This song is really honest and sincere.
I'm not the hero who will always save the day.
Don't always wear the white hat, don't always know the way.
I may not even be the dream you wanted to come true,
But I'll always be the man in love with you.
I'm not the key that opens every door.
I don't have the power to give you all you want and more,
But when you're needin' somethin' special you can hold on to,
I'll always be the man in love with you.
I never could work miracles.
There may be others who can do what I can't do,
But no one else can be as good as me at lovin' you.
So when the world won't turn the way you wish it would,
And the dreams you have don't come alive as often as they should,
Remember that there's someone there whose heart is always true.
I'll always be the man in love with you.
Remember that there's someone there whose heart is always true,
Someone there to help you make it through.
I'll always be the man in love with you.
A Few Good Quotes
"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, and she does."
Unknown
"Compromise is when two people get what neither of them wanted." Unknown
"There is nothing so strong as gentleness and nothing so gentle as real strength."
Unknown
"Manliness is not all swagger and swearing and mountain climbing. Manliness is also tenderness, gentleness, and consideration. You men think you can decide on who is a man when only a woman can really know."
Unknown
"This is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him."
William Lyon Phelps
Further Analysis of Women
It is a state holiday today, so I have time to write. Sorry about being sporadic lately, but work has been busy.
I received an email from a friend the other day and have been dwelling on it. She was shocked that as great a guy as I am I have never been kissed. Her email ended with a statement that she has a lot of great guy friends looking for great girls, and great girl friends who are in unhappy relationships.
I think we need to explore this topic. Women are unique creatures. I don't recall the quote by Churchill about a puzzle wrapped up in an enigma and so forth, but it applies to women. For all the headway made with empowerment and the woman's movement, women still have some outdated ideas of how to define themselves. One is that they are defined by being in a relationship, any relationship.
Nothing breaks my heart as much as seeing a woman in an unhappy relationship, knowing she is neglected and under-appreciated. You see this quite a bit, especially in the local college town. Ten years from now, he will be banging his secretary and she will be a raging alcoholic. But women do this to themselves. I have actually heard a woman say she'd rather be with someone she didn't love than to be alone. Guys (as much as we want love, and yes we do want more than just sex) on the other hand, would rather be alone than live a life with someone we don't love or someone we know doesn't love us.
But women stay in these relationships. They have no courage. No conviction to say I deserve better, and dammit I am going to find it. They are so afraid by letting go of this one without knowing 100% certain someone is waiting in the wings, they will wind up alone and maybe not be able to get the old one back, which also means they have no hope. Meanwhile, these great guys floating around are screwed because these great girls are involved with someone else.
Now there are some guys who defy conventional norms and will pursue the involved woman. He tries to convince the woman that love does exist and is waitng for her. That all she has to do is let go. This is the type of guy who will do whatever it takes even showing up at the church to voice his objections refusing to forever hold his peace. However, most guys will not rock the boat. They believe in the sanctity of the relationship, even an unhappy one. They are chivalrous and noble and wouldn't dare steal another man's women (and no I do mean to refer to women
as men's property) because they would not want to have that done to them. So, for the most part great guys are not going to pursue you, if you are not available. I am reminded of a line from Hitch. Kevin James character says something to the effect of how much it sucks knowing that the person you love is waking up next to someone else, someone who is totally wrong for her. And as much as it hurts, at the same time all you want is for her to be happy even if it is not with you.
Now for the great guys. Some are made, but most are born. It is usually an innate trait like intelligence, athleticism, or charisma, but it can occassionally be acquired. Being a great guy is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because it is a heralded trait. It is glorified as the way to be. It is a curse because if it is self-attained or innate you are s.o.l. It is by virtue of being a great guy that you are alone. You see women don't want to find a great guy, they want to make a great guy. They have this need to be Dr. Phil. They need to fix something, their very own makeover pet project. They want to take the jobless loser who lives with his mom, and clean him up, teach him, and do whatever the hell else they do.
If you are already a great guy, there is nothing to fix. You most likely have a job, nice place, decent income, know how to cook, clean, dress, and which fork to use. Women don't know how to deal with that, they have been condition to be the teacher/caretaker. They lose their identity when they can't fulfill this role. They should learn to accept that they get to reap all the benefits of having a great guy without having to have put any work into it. Like DeGaulle riding into Paris claiming victory, without doing any of the fighting.
So in summation, we have a lot of unhappy people in this world. Unless, women start truly believing they deserve better and take that first step of liberation, they are not going to find their great guy. Instead they will "lead lives of quiet desperation" with the not-so-great guy they choose to stay with.
Underneath Your Clothes
So, this isn't original. But I thought from time to time I would post songs from different genres, rock to country to reggae. Something one might not ordinarily listen to.
Underneath Your Clothes
Words by Shakira
Music by Shakira and Lester Mendez
Your a song written by the hands of God
Don't get me wrong cause this might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes is where I find them
Underneath your clothes there's an endless story
There's the man I chose there's my territory
And all the things I deserve for being such a good girl honey
Because of you I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you I'm running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone when the party's over
We will still belong to each other
Underneath your clothes there's an endless story
There's the man I chose there's my territory
And all the things I deserve for being such a good girl honey
I love you more than all that's on the planet
Movin talkin walkin breathing
You know it's true Oh baby it's so funny
You almost don't believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
Lamps are hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady to her good manners
I am tied up to this feeling
Underneath your clothes there's an endless story
There's the man I chose there's my territory
And all the things I deserve for being such a good girl honey
Despite rumors to the contrary, guys like compliments. The first line of this song is awesome. What greater compliment could you receive than to be told by someone that "You're a song written by the hands of God" ?
How My Paternal Grandparents Met
I wanted to write this at Valentine's, but work was very hectic.
My grandfather was working in a coal mine outside of Birmingham. My grandmother worked in the company store/payroll. One day she was going through the checks and came across a peculiar name, "Earwood".
She made a comment and her boss said, "Oh, have you not met Starling ?" My grandmother had not. Her boss informed her not to take money out of his check. You see, miners would have supplies and or items deducted from their checks before they were paid their wages. The boss informed my grandmother that she was to pay my grandfather his full salary and then let him pay his bill.
On payday, my grandfather waited in line. When it was his turn he placed his hand on my grandmother's and said, "If you'd stop shorting my check, I could afford to take you out." He asked her out for that Saturday. Minding that she had been taught not to say yes to the first request, she turned him down. So he went ahead and asked her to go out with him on the Saturday after that. Since it was the second request, she said yes.
And they were together from that day until the day he passed away.
Women I Think Are Hot
Mandy Moore Jennifer Love Hewitt
Alyssa Milano Eliza Dushku
Elliza Cuthbert Kristen Kruk
Susan Ward Jordan Ladd
Diane Lane Ashley Judd
Monica Potter Kiera Knightley
Faith Hill Kelly Clarkson
Shakira Niki Taylor
Shania Brooke Burke
Ali Larter Ali Landry
just to name a few
The Notebook
Last night I watched "The Notebook". Thanks for the warning Mrs. U. "It's a great movie. I have seen it 4 times." If I watch that movie four times I will die of dehydration ie I cried like a baby. It was like watching "Brian's Song", "The Champ", and "Old Yeller" all at once. I should have known, after all it's from Nicholas Sparks. The same guy who kills off Kevin Costner in "Message in a Bottle", and Mandy Moore in "A Walk to Remember".
Don't get me wrong, it is a great movie which caused me much introspection. I won't give away all the details in case you haven't seen it. But, I don't know if I was crying more for the characters or for myself. When the movie starts off the two main characters are approximately 17 years old. They fall passionately in love. The kind of hot summer romance where you can't keep your hands off of each other. I am thirteen years older than these characters and I to this day have never experienced this. Hell, I have never even been kissed.
Who doesn't long for that kind of fire ? To not only feel passion for someone, but to be felt passionately about ? I mean love is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but don't we secretly want to find that one person who can get under our skin ? The one who can make us reconsider all of our goals, our hopes, and our dreams, and then make us realize that those things are not as important as we once thought they were. To make us say, "I'd rather be a ditch digger and have you in my life, than be a millionaire without you."
It is easy for people who have this or have had this to say,"oh it will happen to you." The truth is that it is easier said than done. Life is extremely difficult when you have no sense of hope. Love is like a lot of things. Take basketball for instance, you can practice all day long, but there is nothing like that first win. Afterwards, you can walk away and it feels good knowing that since you have done it once you are capable of doing it again. You have no doubt that you will win again. But when you start off 0-8, you become hopeless. It is impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You get tired of picking yourself up off the ground, dusting yourself off and getting back on the proverbial horse. Then comes a time when you say, "I'll walk." You question yourself...
...you see all kinds of people in love. Short, tall, fat, skinny, rude, considerate, arrogant, humble, funny, dull. You think to yourself, "I at least fall into the middle of these categories. I may not be Robin Williams, but I am not Robin Leach either." So what is so wrong with me that no one has ever looked into my eyes and seen forever or felt time stand still ? This brings us back to M, who I haven't mentioned in a while. Now, I'll admit at this point I don't feel passionately about her, hell I hardly even know her, but I definitely wanted the opportunity.
Maybe this is why the movie hit me so hard. On Monday, I sent M an email. (I was going to beg Mrs. U to intercede on my behalf, since she knows us both. But I decided against it. It wouldn't be right to ask her to put herself in the middle.) So, I sent the email. I had told myself I would let it go, but I couldn't. I wanted to believe that she was better than what my recent opinion of her was. After all, it was possible she never got my note or Christmas card, and therefore didn't know I sent the flowers. I had to give her the benefit of the doubt, right ? After all, women are such perfect creatures who do everything right and treat everyone with respect and compassion. So, I emailed her in one last futile attempt to not let this possibilty pass by. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what might have been and hating her for not responding, if in fact, she never knew. So, here we are a few days later and still no response. I guess she is not the lady I had hoped she was.
It is just completely unfathomable that one person could have such rotten luck with love. I mean I am not making this stuff up. Everything I have written regarding myself in these blogs is true. And no, it is not that I am clueless and just missing the signs. I know the signs all too well. Girls never giggled when I walked by. No one ever doodled my name on her notebook. No one ever constantly showed up at the places where I was. I know all the tricks of their trade. Conversely, I have done some of these things. I have sent flowers, written poems, and yes I have been a boy standing before a girl asking her to love him. Unlike the movies, there is no happily ever after.
In closing I'd like to say thank you Mrs. U for the thank you card. It is nice to know that there are still some southern belles who know how to be gracious. The card and the words mean the world to me and I feel blessed for having you in my life. Mr. U is a very fortunate man.
WOMEN ! OR ?
This is a follow up to my previous entry regarding personal ads.
What is it women want ? Thanks to the modern age of the internet men don't even have to leave home to have the proverbial drink thrown in their faces. Let me explain my adventures with personal ads.
I look through the ads. It is somewhat of a hobby of mine as I may as well be living in Nome, Alaska. I come across a cute face. Not a fashion model mind you, but the kind you'd expect to see in the supermarket or out walking her dog. There is something hypnotic about her and I am drawn like a moth to a flame.
So, I click on the ad. She says all the right things has all the right interests. Eureka. I have found her. So, I get out my credit card, punch in the number and pay the membership fee all for the privilege of saying "hi". I briefly describe myself as I know woman hate nothing more than a man who doesn't shut up about himself. I ask a few questions so she will have something to respond to then hit send. And...abracadabra...nothing. Thirty bucks down the tube. Heck, I could've have gone to Hooter's and gotten ignored...at least I would have gotten food out of it.
Why do women do this ? They put themselves out there so obviously they want the attention, but then they don't take it. Two theories. Ok, so I didn't send a pic. I explain my reasons. I have a somewhat political job and even greater political ambitions. After all, I am here looking for the future First Lady. I can't risk my photo winding up on some beastiality porn site. Secondly, apparently living an hour away is just to much to overcome. Ladies, for the most part, think that if the guy doesn't live around the corner then he couldn't possibly be the one(refer to my entry on soulmates). Hey, I am willing to drive an hour each way to see you. Whatever happened to love conquers all ?
For example, there was this one girl. She was very cute (just my type as some of you know what I mean). Her ad said all the right things, ie family oriented, acknowledged a higher power, and an unwillingness to settle for less than she deserves, so I sent her a note, and.... nothing. I tried again a few months later... nothing. Few more months pass by, I tell her congratulations on her graduation from pharm school...you guessed it nothing. Apparently, guys are beating down her door for the chance to date a single mom who is in school. After all, that is why she has the ad up.
So, why do they do it ? Post their ad, flaunting themselves in front of us, treating us like animals at the zoo hiding behind their virtual iron bars. And they wonder why they can't find a nice guy ? It makes a guy want to become a monk. If only the pay wasn't so low.
I IMAGINE
I IMAGINE A SPARKLING WHITE TROPICAL BEACH
WITH YOU NEVER BEING OUT OF MY REACH
I IMAGINE A STAR-FILLED MOONLIT NIGHT
AND YOU ARE THE MOST RADIANT THING IN SIGHT
I IMAGINE A RUSTIC CABIN WITH A ROARING FIREPLACE
LOOKING INTO YOUR ALLURING EYES I FEEL MY HEART RACE
I IMAGINE A CANDLE LIT DINNER AS VIOLINS PLAY
I AM SO IN AWE I KNOW NOT WHAT ELSE TO SAY
I IMAGINE A FAIRY TALE CARRIAGE RIDE
AND YOU ARE MY ONE AND ONLY BRIDE
I IMAGINE ALL MY DREAMS COMING TRUE
BECAUSE I AM SPENDING MY LIFE WITH YOU
I IMAGINE YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY
THIS I IMAGINE EACH AND EVERY DAY
In Memory
This week marks the 17th anniversary of my paternal grandfather's death. Our family has lost several members during January-February over the years.
Unlike my maternal grandfather, I don't have a lot of memories of my Pa-Paw. My parents divorced when I was still in diapers. I remember my sister and I visiting our grandparents when I was about 5 or 6 years old. It would be years before I saw them again. I don't blame anyone for this, since I can't recall asking to go see them. I honestly believe that if I had asked, I would have gotten to do so.
When I was 12, my Me-Maw was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a very big deal (as it still is today, but imagine being diagnosed 17-18 years ago). She was scheduled to have a masectomy in Birmingham. She wanted to see me (not that she hadn't always wanted to, but she feared the worst and wanted to see me before she went, if it was indeed her time). My mom took me to the hospital and I visited with both my grandparents.
That summer, my sister and I visited our grandparents for 4th of July. My next visit occurred over the next Christmas break. My Pa-Paw took me everywhere he went. And looking back...I am glad not only that he did but that I didn't complain. You see, chances are that you are not going to be the only kid at Me-Maw's and Pa-Paw's house during the holidays. All my cousins were there and we would be shooting pool or something. Pa-Paw would walk through and say "Michael, come with me." I don't recall ever fighting him about it or being upset about having to go while the other kids got to stay and play. I may have felt that way, but I honestly do not recall.
I am glad he took me with him. My other male cousins were older than me and had grown up around him. They had 15-16 years of memories of visiting and doing things with Pa-Paw, But for me it was like walking into a new family at age 12. So, while everyone else was there, he would take every opportunity to make time for me. I saw him preach his last sermon at a particular church. We went to the nursing home where he was a chaplain, as well as just going to the store. So, it was more about everyday kind of things. We never, for instance, spent the day fishing while he told me stories about himself or the kind of man I should try to be. I have to rely on what others tell me about him. But to this day, I have never met anyone who knew him who didn't tell me what a good man he was.
I had already planned to spend spring break with my grandparents, as I would continue to do with my grandmother over the years. I am probably one of the only people who have never spent a spring break at the beach (and I am not complaining). But, Pa-Paw wouldn't live to see that spring break. It was a February day in 1988. It was cold and starting to turn dark. I had gotten home from school and was watching a movie when we got the call.
Apparently, my Pa-Paw was having car trouble and was going to try to push his car by himself and his heart gave out. I won't lie, I do feel deprived of not getting to really know him. While I am his flesh and blood, strangers know more about him than I do. Well, I'll acknowledge that they were not strangers to him. They were his friends and/or members of his congregation.
My Me-Maw tells me that he would be proud of me. She says that he didn't have much of a formal education and would be thrilled to know that I have 2 college degrees and am a licensed attorney. He would be proud of all his grandchildren. All of us grandkids over the age of 21, have college degrees (sis has 2 as well), except one who went into the military which Pa-Paw would have been proud of as well.
While, I don't claim to be perfect (far from it), I do hope that when he looks down he sees the man he hoped I would become.
Excuse me while I...
pat myself on the back. You thought I was going to say "whip this out", didn't you, you perverts ?
I have been in trial the past two days and got my first jury conviction in Coahoama County today. It was extra sweet as it was my first victory against a certain defense lawyer as well. He has gotten the better of me on more than one occassion and I was long overdue. So excuse me, while I gloat and bask in my five minutes of sunshine here in the delta. (of course, I mean that figuratively, I don't recall the last time I saw sunshine here.)
