Chasing Windmills

Morning Introspection

I recently visited with an old flame. I call her an old flame because I was head over heels for her. However, the sentiment was not mutual. Nevertheless, I have a knack for not burning bridges, so we remain friends.
A small handful of people know exactly of whom I speak and the history as well. Each of us played our part on that stage so many years ago. I digress. As always, during the course of the conversation, those days get brought up with some memories fonder than others.
I recall many of the other suitors (I use that word generously) vying for her affection. They came from all shapes, sizes, and colors each with their own philosophical approach. Some were more sucessful than others. Some never got out of the starting gate and I don't know why. Some were genuinely sincere (they just had the wrong playbook) while others were players looking for their 15 minutes in the spotlight.
In my experience, it is quite easy to touch the heart of a woman, but it is monumentaly impossible to understand her and why she makes the choices she makes. As we recalled some of those choices, I can't help but wonder why. Now, I will admit I was biased (after all I was rooting for myself), but I could see the wolves hiding in sheep's clothing. It is nice to know to an extent that she could too. But I still can't fathom why certain ones reached a certain status that the others didn't and I haven't been able to bring myself to ask that question.
Those days were much like today's reality tv. Who would have thought we were on the forefront of pop culture ? For it really was like an episode of the bachelor or rather the bachelorette. All of these guys competing for one girl. Now, I don't know about women, but I don't like this scenario and most guys I know don't either. You know what I am talking about. The bachelorette having all these different dates with these guys. The guys come back with the stories of how far they did or did not get. Guy number one got a kiss. Guy number six got a moonlit walk. Guy number eleven got the heisman (the ultimate diss), and guy number seventeen well the camera faded out, so we don't know.
So much goes on behind the scenes and there are so many facades, that you never know who is real. All you do know is that you don't want her to get hurt. You want her to chose the right guy and live happily ever after. It begs the question, do you genuinely care about her or is this just about winning. I can handle losing to a better man.
Some of the guys are still in her life as I am. Others have fallen by the wayside over the years. I suppose the lesson learned is to be ever mindful of the path you walk and choose wisely which bridges you decide to leave behind and which ones you decide to burn.

posted by Michael @ 7:34 AM