Chasing Windmills

How to Win Back Your Ex

How many of you ladies want to get back with your ex, but don't want to take the first step ? Well, let me be of assistance. Apparently, I am the guru of reconciliation. I have reunited more couples than Peaches and Herb. Let me explain...

I was 18-19 and visiting family in Mississippi. I met this cute little girl and was swept away. The catch was she kept bouncing back and forth between two guys. I tried to spend time around her and even went on a church trip just to do so (it wasn't even my denomination) which she backed out of. To make a long story short, she eventually married one of these guys. I learned of the impending nuptials over Valentine's weekend. As I drove back pouting to country music, I got a speeding ticket. At least it was the last one (I am @ 3 weeks away from being 11 years ticket free).

Fast forward a year. Once again, I find myself in Mississippi falling again. The more time I spent with her the farther I fell. Around Christmas time that year, I spent all day with her and some of my family members. It was kind of cool. I guess when you aren't forced to spend all day shopping all the time, it can be kind of cool once in a while. There was a particular gift she was looking for and couldn't find (not surprising in Mississippi). Upon returning to Birmingham, I found it the next day. I put it away and waited to give it to her for her birthday. Fast forward a couple of months. I am visiting family. Her birthday is still a couple of weeks away, but I won't be able to get back there for it. So, I present her with the gift. First of all, she likes the wrapping paper claiming she has the same kind at home. So, I am off to a good start. Secondly, the card had a pink rose on it, her favorite (which I did not previously know). Man, I am in like Flynn. Finally, she loved the gift. So, what is the problem, you ask ? Dramatic pause...she now has a boyfriend which she didn't have 2 months ago. How does this fit in to today's topic ?

She and this guy had dated years ago. Things did not work out. So, they decided to just be friends, although he loved her all this time. After years of friendship, and just as I am coming into the picture, they decide to give it another try. Now they are married.

We now fast forward 6-7 years. I am looking at online personals (another subject for another day). I come across this adorable girl next door type that catches my attention. I pay the $20 membership fee so I can write to her. She never responded, but I digress. While I am online, I see this other pic and curiosity gets the better of me. I read the ad and well, she is too good to pass up. I write her; she writes back. We have this cute little "You've Got Mail" "The Shop Around the Corner" thing going. This goes on for over a year. Emails and late nights chats open my soul to a world I have never known. It feels good rushing home to see if there is a message from her.

At one point, she gives me her number. Like an idiot, I don't call. Of course, she is upset and disappointed that I never did call and rightly so. Why didn't I call ? First, of all I hate my voice. Particularly on recordings, voicemail, answering machines, etc. Secondly, the phone is like kryptonite. I can write all day long, but put me on a phone and I turn into a babbling idiot. Finally, I do call, or try to any way. The number has changed.

Our friendship grows strong. Twice I sent her flowers. But I couldn't bring myself to face her. I was scared of ruining a good thing. I know it sounds stupid. However, I know how people can be. We want to believe in perfection. This mystery person is saying all the right things, sending flowers, etc, then he must look perfect too. Let the illusion continue. Let her enjoy the fantasy. I never meant to imply that she was shallow or superficial. But I know from personal experience how reality can hit you like a brick wall. Once, I had my expectations set too high and upon meeting someone I was disappointed. The chemistry was just not there, and I didn't want to do that to her.

Anyway, back to the story. Eventually, I summon up the courage to meet her. I buy a gift, hop in the car and begin the hour drive to where she worked. I talk myself out of turning the car around. I walk past her dept. and walk a round for a while calming my nerves. Then I do it. I introduce myself, and you could have knocked her over with a feather. We stand around shyly smiling and blushing making small talk not knowing what to say. Then I leave. I email her several times the following week, as I definitely want to pursue the matter. She never responded. I went back to that town the next weekend. I checked my email a dozen times that day hoping she'd be free for dinner. No response. My parents leave for work. So, I go by hers. She doesn't work again until Monday.

The emails trail off, actually they stop. I don't hear from her and I fear that my fears have come true: she met me and was disappointed and I got the cold shoulder. Male pride prevents me from writing her. Months go by, then I get an email from her. Not a personal one, but rather one that is sent to about 50 people. The subject her impending nuptials to an ex. Apparently, he came back into the picture and I am out, romantically speaking. We still keep in touch although I haven't heard from her since before my birthday.

So, ladies if you want your ex back here's what you do: Meet me, sweep me off my feet, and your ex will be back before you on bended knee faster than you can say "kismet".

posted by Michael @ 9:33 AM